I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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