Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
