hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice