Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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