Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
