I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
