There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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