there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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