why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
