when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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