Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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