lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
