Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize