my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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