We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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