u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Welp...herpes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
