no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
