go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
