Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
