i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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