I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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