Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Omg I joined a choir last night...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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