I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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