Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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