Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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