fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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