Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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