You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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