Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
