You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
