DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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