Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize