i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
