My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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