I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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