I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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