Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
