You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
