honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize