I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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