Im at strip club and am horny
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize