I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
