operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
