Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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