It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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