Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Someone signed my nipple.
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