i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
