Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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