He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
