Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
