is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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