i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
