so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
