Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
