The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
