I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's blow job season.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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