do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
