Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
